7 Unexpected but Practical Steps to Find the Right Coach (For You)
Not every coach is the right coach. That’s not a flaw. That’s a feature.
Join me next Tuesday for a Substack LIVE with Kristof Shoenaerts of Job Search Unlocked — 10/21 at 10:30 am ET (link to join).
We’re talking about the 5 things every leader should do before they start their job search. Download the Substack app to join. See you there!
You’ve done the inner work. Now you’re ready to go deeper.
Hiring a coach is a power move — but finding the right one? That’s where most leaders get stuck.
I’ve seen it happen a hundred times.
Smart, thoughtful execs finally say: “Okay. I’m ready for help.”
And then… get lost in a sea of possibilities.
Let me help you cut through the noise.
Here are 7 steps I personally recommend to my clients when they ask:
“How do I find a coach that actually moves me forward?”
Finding the right coach for you doesn’t have to be hard if you know the steps.
Coaching is expensive and time-consuming.
You want to take the search process seriously. But not too seriously.
The biggest mistake you can make is overthinking the process and assuming that you’ll find the perfect person immediately.
It’s far more effective to view the search as a series of experiments, where you’re learning as you go. The search itself is a part of the learning.
Here are the 7 steps that I recommend to friends and clients who are in the market for a coach:
1. Know What You Really Need
This is where 90% of people skip ahead… and end up circling back.
Are you looking for clarity?
Career transition support?
Team dynamics help?
Mindset rewiring?
You don’t need perfect clarity — but get clear enough to sort through the noise.
Start with:
Your top 1–2 goals
Your definition of success
What would make you say: “That was worth every penny.”
2. Try Different Styles
Some coaches push, some probe, some guide.
Ask yourself:
Do I want structure or spaciousness?
Do I want to be challenged or supported (or both)?
Do I want a model or a mirror?
There’s no “right” answer — only what fits your nervous system right now.
3. Get Clear on Your Investment (Time + Money)
Coaching is an investment. In energy. In dollars. In your calendar.
Ask:
What’s your budget?
What’s your time capacity?
Will your company pay for this? (Pro tip: Most will.)
Knowing your boundaries helps you find someone who aligns with them — not someone you’ll grow to resent.
Bonus: If you haven’t asked your company to pay, you’re missing out on a key resource. Most organizations will pay for leadership coaching to drive more effective outcomes.
4. Build a Strong Shortlist
Please don’t just scroll Instagram and hope for magic ✨
Here’s what I tell my clients:
Ask 2–3 trusted peers for referrals
Check coaching platforms (there are good ones out there)
Look for thought leadership — LinkedIn, Substack, podcasts
Start with 5–6 names. Do light research. Trust your gut to shortlist 2–3 for deeper conversations.
5. Interview with Intention
This is not like hiring a vendor. This is hiring someone to walk with you.
Ask real questions:
What kind of clients do you love working with?
What’s your approach to change and resistance?
How do you know when coaching is working?
Do at least 3–4 interviews. Not because you “should” — but because hearing what you don’t want helps you find what you do.
Bonus: Once you’ve found one you like, don’t be afraid to follow up with more questions. This is your chance to learn what you need to know. Don’t be shy.
6. Test Drive
Ask for a trial session or mini-engagement.
Even if they require you to commit to a package purchase, ask if you can get just one or two sessions to start.
You’ll likely know within the first 15 minutes if there is a fit, but if you’re trying to break out of your comfort zones, sometimes you need more time to figure out what works.
7. Allow Evolution
The right coach for this season may not be the right coach forever.
Some coaches work with clients for 3-12 months. Others have coaching relationships that last for more than 5 years. Ask them what they prefer.
Then lean into your own instincts.
You’re the only one who knows what will work best for you.
Pause a relationship or move on when you feel you’ve achieved what’s possible with your current coach.
Keep going if it’s feeling good.
Wait… how long should this take?
Finding a coach is not dissimilar to the search for anyone providing an important service in your life.
If it’s taking days, you might be rushing it.
If it’s taking months, you might be using perfection to avoid a decision.
Take a pause if you need it.
While finding a coach is likely one of the larger investments you’ll make in your career and life, don’t set an unattainable bar.
Be ready to experiment and switch up your coach if you’re not getting the results or experience you hope for.
Closing thoughts.
If you’re ready to take the plunge, don’t wait.
Each month you are delaying your growth is a month you are losing an opportunity to drive greater impact, find a more joyful path, and feel more confidence and at ease.
Coaches can transform not just your work, but your life. But only if you’re ready to do the work.
And if you need help navigating the search? Let me know.
❤️ If this helped, share it with someone else who is stuck. Leave a comment below or reach out — I’m here for questions.
Don’t forget to join me next Tuesday, 10/21 with Kristof Shoenaerts at 10:30am ET for a Substack Life on the 5 steps leaders should take before they start a job search. (link to join)
May you lead without limits,
