Skill & Knowledge Are Not Enough
And, no, this is not a post on AI. It's about something more uncomfortable.
It was his company, his idea, the source of his energy for nearly a decade. But he no longer wanted to be there.
To be honest, he’d known for some time. Maybe more than a year ago.
But there was no succession plan. No one he felt safe enough to confess to. The business was not robust enough. The Board wouldn’t trust anyone else to lead. His fellow leaders would panic if he left.
So he stayed silent, while his apathy slowly seeped into his work.
Decisions that he could have made within hours were now taking days. Issues that had previously felt minor began to grow in scale and complexity. The rhythms and demands of the business started to feel like a ball and chain, dragging him down slowly and steadily each day.
His colleagues, the other leaders on the team, felt something was off, but they rationalized it: it’s just a passing down cycle. He’ll snap out of it.
They did what too many organizations and leaders do, but later wish they hadn’t: They waited.
Is this happening in your organization?
It happened in several of mine. I saw it happen to other leaders as I stood by the sidelines, trying to avoid the issue.
Eventually, it even happened to me. I was the leader who wanted to go, but didn’t know how. I let it drag on for months.
Just as my boss, the CEO, was rationalizing the decision to wait, I was doing the same. I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do next. I didn’t want to be without income — that felt irresponsible. There was always one more meeting, one more project, one more client conversation I couldn't walk away from.
And yet, if I’m really honest, the core of what I was unwilling to confront was shame, guilt, and fear. Shame that maybe I couldn’t cut it. Guilt that I would be leaving my team behind to fend for themselves. And fear of the unknown, and whether it was actually OK to leave.
It’s easy with 20-20 hindsight to be critical. But when you’re in it, it’s a completely different experience.
You either don’t even know it’s happening.
Or you’re so wrapped up trying to avoid the issue, you forget that you have a choice.
You always have a choice.
Losing a leader, especially one with a long tenure, doesn’t just feel scary, it’s downright horrifying.
The reasons aren’t far-fetched. They’re rather logical.
If you’re brave enough to even contemplate the issue, the litany of questions to deter you from taking action is never-ending and impossible to answer:
What will people on the team think?
How will we replace their years of knowledge?
How will customers respond? Will they get spooked?
Could we have done something different to retain them?
Will the rest of the leadership team stick around for who’s next?
What if we can’t find a better replacement?
The uncertainty is too anxiety-inducing to face.
So instead, we avoid it.
We make excuses — Now isn’t the right time. They just need more support.
We justify — They wouldn’t push us out. We need to give them a little longer.
We deny the truth — The risks aren’t that bad. We can’t create a feasible mitigation plan.
We let our fears drive our path forward and let our leadership judgment slip out the back door.
It’s a terrible path, but it often feels like the easier one to take.
What starts easy turns hard… fast.
A leader who no longer wants the job is one of the most dangerous people you can keep on a team.
Even if they don’t want to hurt the company. In fact, the ones who still want to help are the most lethal. The ones who still want to do right but have not yet acknowledged that they no longer want in.
Those are the ones that wreak the most havoc.
Why?
Because what they are doing is insidious, not conscious, and wrapped in the veneer of good intentions.
The ones who are openly difficult, negative, and malicious make it obvious that they are a threat. You might still take too long to remove them, but at least it’s all out in the open.
The ones who are still parroting the mission and goals (but are questioning the strategy), show up looking prepared (but are only going through the motions), take on just enough work (but nothing extra or more risky) — those are the ones to worry about.
They hurt your progress and your team through small, seemingly innocuous acts:
Confusing the team through small misdirections — “Don’t follow what was said in that last email. They don’t know what they’re talking about.”
Creating mini-fissures through gossip — “Did you hear what [so-and-so] said after the meeting? I don’t think they are on board, but don’t talk to them about it.”
Blocking progress with small comments — “I’m not sure why we are bothering. It hasn’t worked in the past.”
They will subtly add doubt to a discussion. They will delay key decisions. They will think smaller. They will focus on risks more than opportunities. They will shift your overall ethos from growth and innovation to steadiness and risk mitigation.
Your team will feel the pain, but won’t necessarily understand where it’s coming from and why. They will just start to feel the organization stagnate or stumble more. Work will become more arduous and progress more elusive.
And the leader who is struggling? They won’t even know they are doing it.
Because they are in denial just as much as you are.
Facing reality: motivation is what unlocks skills and knowledge.
Obligation is not the same as motivation.
That’s what leaders who no longer feel connected to a business confuse. They think their loyalty and commitment can hide their lack of energy for the mission and the work.
But they aren’t interchangeable. And one can’t mask the other.
“Have-to” thinking may yield some short-term results, but it will not unlock someone’s full potential. It will simply burn them out.
Even if a leader is the smartest person in the room and knows where all the bodies are buried, they won’t be powerful or even productive if they are no longer feeling motivated.
I like to think of our skills and knowledge as sitting in a metal canister. They may be valuable, but no one can see them or access them until you open the canister.
The opening only happens when you feel motivation. It comes from within and can’t be manufactured.
Sometimes, you can adjust the conditions to make it easier to create the opening for someone:
Finding something adjacent and connected that matters to them can be a motivator (e.g. money, or the ability to learn)
Adjusting the role and responsibilities to make them fit their current lifestyle needs and interests (e.g. going remote, or scoping down or up)
Adding support structures and systems can make the job easier to navigate (e.g. a chief of staff, a coach, or AI agents)
But sometimes, those adjustments aren’t enough. They just don't feel as connected to the work anymore.
No amount of external work will solve that. And if they can’t see it, it’s your job as a leader to address it.
Because the alternative is too costly. It isn’t just lost time, it’s losing the momentum, the focus, and ultimately, the trust of your team.
Your turn.
Have you ever worked alongside a leader who was ready to go, but didn’t know it? Or maybe you were the leader, and it took you a minute to realize it was time?
I’d love to hear what helped you and the organization transition through that time — and what didn’t. If you’re willing to share, please add a Comment. I’d love to hear from you.
If this post resonated, or made you pause and consider your own motivation level or that of your fellow leaders, please consider giving it a ❤️ and sharing it with a friend or colleague who would also benefit. Thank you!
Mark your calendar for my next Substack Live.
This Friday, I’m talking with Olympic Gold Medalist and now a CEO Performance Coach — Steve Mesler. Join us as he shares his key learnings from the training room to the board room. (Event Link)
As always, thank you for joining me each week as I dive into what it takes to lead without limits.
