The Moment I Knew I Needed a Coach (And Why You Might Too)
Everyone seems to have one. Is it just hype, or is it the help you need?
You’ve had that voice in your head, haven’t you?
“Am I behind?”
“Is this even the right path?”
“Why does everyone else seem more… certain?”
Maybe your boss mentioned a coach. Or a colleague raves about theirs. You’ve thought about it. Briefly.
But isn’t coaching for people in crisis?
You’re not in crisis. You’re just… tired. Frustrated. Ready for more, even if you’re not sure what “more” means yet.
So, when do you know it’s time?
Signs you need a coach.
The first time I engaged a coach for myself, I was struggling with a number of challenges at work:
I felt stuck.
I knew I wasn’t in the right place, but I couldn’t figure out where I wanted to go.
I was triggered often.
One colleague in particular, I swear they had a PhD in pushing my buttons.
I’d get defensive. I’d shut down. Then I’d spend the rest of the day replaying it in my head, wondering what was wrong with me.
I felt intense imposter syndrome.
My ruminations distracted me from critical executive team conversations. Instead of focusing on how to help grow the business, I was consumed by whether I said the right or wrong thing.
The group training programs HR had engaged were excellent, but they weren’t addressing my challenges.
At the recommendation of a friend, I joined one of Peter Bregman’s retreats. It was a 4-day intensive filled with deep introspection and lots of physical activity.
The most surprising part: the exercises that broke apart what I thought was holding me together, but was really holding me back.
I came away feeling like I was cracked open with light pouring out of me. I felt clear about what needed to change at work and in my career.
It led me to a major career move a year later.
If you’re wondering if the time is right for you to get a coach, here are some of the inner signs to look for:
You’re spinning. Same thoughts, same problems, no momentum.
You’re not lost, but you’re definitely not found.
Your inner critic has the mic — and they are loud.
And here are some of the outer signs:
Friends keep sending you podcasts, books, tools. You’re overwhelmed, not inspired.
Your boss keeps repeating the same feedback — and you’re still not sure how to fix it.
You see your peers growing, taking risks, getting promoted… and wonder why you’re stuck.
If these sound like the thoughts swirling in your head, it’s time to start to get serious about a coach.
The rewards of working with the right coach (for you) are immeasurable.
Coaching accelerates clarity and action when other methods stall.
The right coach for you will not only understand your challenges. They will mirror them back to you with such precision and speed, it’s as if they are in your head.
Having your thoughts pulled out of your head and set out for open examination may feel scary, but the right coach will do this in a way that feels safe and productive.
In fact, you should walk away from each session with at least one “Ah-Ha” moment. It might be something you already knew, but your coach helped you view it in a new light or with a different takeaway.
Truly skilled coaches know how to draw forth your inner wisdom and marry that with an insight or an approach that adds to your toolkit.
In the beginning, you might start to hear their voice in your head as you navigate your daily decisions and challenges. But over time, you’ll integrate what works in their approach into your own voice and judgement.
When you start to coach yourself, that’s when you know that the coaching work has fully landed.
Plan to invest more than money.
Coaches can be expensive, especially executive coaches. But the cost in money isn’t actually your biggest investment.
The time and your willingness to be vulnerable are the bigger investments.
When deadlines are looming, your inbox is overflowing, and your team is sending a barrage of Slack messages, will you have the discipline to close the door and focus on your coaching call?
When you are feeling down, exposed, and confused, will you be willing to bare all of that to your coach?
Coaching is not for the faint of heart.
“Growth and comfort do not coexist.” — Ginni Rometty
For all the money you or your company are spending, the real expense will come from your ego. If you are ready to pay the price, the rewards can be life changing.
What are you waiting for?
Coaching isn’t magic. But it can feel magical when it’s working.
It’s the clarity you didn’t know you needed. The permission you never gave yourself. The voice that slowly becomes your own.
So if you’re asking whether it’s time…
It probably is.
Start here. Start now.
Invest in your future self today.
Thank you for joining me this week.
If you found this post helpful, share it with a friend who might need a nudge to invest in their growth.
Give it a ❤️ so that more people can find it on Substack.
And if you feel it’s time to find a coach, but aren’t sure how to find the right one, come back next week, where I’ll give you my blueprint for how to find the right coach for you.
May you lead without limits,
Thanks for this, Kathy. I was one of those who didn't think I needed a coach. "I can handle this. I know what to do." Hiring the right coach was the most intelligent decision I've ever made. When you're living "inside the bottle," it's very hard to read the label on the outside of the bottle. Thank you to all my coaches over the years for helping me "read the label."