The Surprising Way to Reclaim Your Power After a Layoff

A guide for leaders navigating loss, fear… and what’s next.

Photo by Ruffa Jane Reyes on Unsplash

Layoffs suck. But there’s one thing senior leaders forget to do… and it’s the key to getting back in the game.

“I have tough news. Unfortunately, your role has been eliminated.”

You’d think it would be easier for me to hear it, given how much I’ve said those exact words and scripted them for other leaders.

But no.

Last year, when I was laid off, I was devastated.
Even though I didn’t want the role anymore.
Even though I saw the writing on the wall.
Even though I had a vision of what was next.

It still hurt.

Since then, I’ve coached several leaders through the aftermath of a layoff.
Some called me the day it happened. Others were already coaching with me when it happened.

It didn’t matter when; every time, for every person, it was a gut punch.

Here’s how I help my clients navigate this challenging moment and come out on the other side, stronger.

Let your emotions flow. They are there for a reason.

My first recommendation is always to pause and give yourself a chance to breathe and feel all the feelings. When we are wrapped up tight in our feelings, it’s hard to make strategic decisions.

The narrative and emotions of a layoff are hard:

• I thought I was valued and essential.

• What did I do wrong?

• Who was against me?

• I was so loyal and delivered so much. And this is how they treat me?

• What will my team think? Will they see me as a failure?

• I feel terrible and totally drained.

• What will I say when people ask me what happened?

As a more senior leader, this can be even harder:

• I wanted to make a shift, but I don’t know if I can.

• Will people think I’m too old to take on big roles?

• Will I make the money I used to make?

• What if my best days are behind me?

• Is this the end of my career?

While I don’t recommend dwelling on the stories you have and your emotions, it’s important to acknowledge them.

Here’s how to let the emotions flow through you:

1. Move your body.

Go for a walk. Cry ugly tears. Punch a pillow.
Don’t bottle that stuff up — it’s poison.

2. Compassion is the key.

Be kind to yourself.
Acknowledge the grief, anger, or fear that you feel. It’s a sign that your job mattered to you. That’s a healthy thing.
When we embrace ourselves, we can let go more easily.

3. Schedule activities and time with people who give you joy.

Whether it’s a best friend, a cup of tea, a favorite movie or song, or a hobby, feeling joy is one of the best ways to heal and re-energize yourself. It’s not indulgent. It’s essential.

4. Strengthen your mindset.

Take a mindfulness course, Positive Intelligence

5. Don’t worry if your negative emotions re-emerge.

They did for me — often when I woke up in the middle of the night, I was bombarded by a swirl of thoughts. This happened for 4 months. When they come back, just let them be. Don’t judge yourself for having them. They will pass.

Over time, your negative thoughts and feelings will fade. It’s counterintuitive, but the space you give them to flow through you will help them pass faster.

After you’ve given your body, mind, and heart time to process, now you’re ready for more strategic decisions.

One step at a time: Finish leaving before you start seeking.

After you’ve given yourself a bit of time with your emotions, it’s time to deal with the practicalities of the layoff:

• Negotiate your agreement: Severance, healthcare coverage, support services, references, and anything else you need. An attorney isn’t essential, but they can be super helpful.

• Gather contacts & information you need: Most companies don’t allow you to take proprietary information, but there might be elements of your work that you can take with you. Take a minute to figure out what that is.

• Summarize your wins & accomplishments: Jot down these details and make a copy of your performance reviews so that you can reference them later.

• Get a handle on your financial situation (with your partner): Assess how urgent it is for you to find a new job. Reduce expenses if money is a concern. A conversation now will save you a lot of headaches later.

The departure process might take you a few hours to a few weeks or even months.

Here’s a secret: Don’t rush yourself (as long as you pay attention to legal deadlines).

It’s normal to feel tremendous pressure to jump into the job search: Update your resume, apply to jobs, and start reaching out to people in your network.

All of those activities matter, but there’s a very simple reason why you should take your time:

How you feel is what you will attract.

If you aren’t feeling confident, optimistic, grounded, your conversations will reflect it.

You don’t have to know exactly what industry, company, or title you want. But you do have to energetically be ready to engage with others about your job search before you start it.

If you’re not ready yet, that’s OK.

The last thing you want to do is dive head first into the process only to alienate contacts or communicate poorly what you want because you didn’t give yourself time to process and decompress.

You don’t have to isolate yourself. Get the support you need: friends, family, a coach, and/or a therapist.

Just don’t make those conversations about finding a job… just yet.

If you’re one of the lucky people with either savings, a partner who is still working, or a significant severance package, don’t create false pressure to move faster.

If you need more time and can afford it, take it.

Consider a longer pause — a sabbatical. I took one last year and it was a time of great rejuvenation and self-discovery.

I gave myself permission to vegetate in front of the television and I invested in my learning and preparation to launch my business. You can do both. You can neither.

You can do whatever the h*ll you want!

That’s the thing that gets lost (and hopefully found) when you lose your job:
You get to decide what’s next.

You’ll know when the time is right to shift into seeker mode.

One morning, you’ll wake up and feel like “today’s the day.”

You might feel a surge of energy, or just the glimmer of hope that there isn’t darkness and dread on the other side of your morning.

When you feel that sense of possibility, now’s the time to get started on your next career adventure.

Here's the simple framework I walk my clients through:

Want + People + Learning = Opportunity.

Here’s how I break it down:

1. Write Down What You Want

Don’t judge what comes up. It might be vague, it might be specific. It doesn’t matter. Just jot down what is true for you. This is what you dream.

2. Clarify Your Non-negotiables

Compensation? Location? Level? Industry? Culture? This is your bare minimum.

3. Connect with People You Trust

You don’t have to perform for them. You can have raw, unfiltered conversations to help you shape your vision and your narrative.

4. Refine Your Vision

After each conversation, capture what you learned and update your wants if they have changed.

5. Update Your Resume & LinkedIn

See these as iterative, living documents that will change over time.
Recruiters are searching for great talent every day. Make sure you can be found. (If you want help, check out

Kristof Schoenaerts

)

6. Make a List of Companies & People You Admire

This will become your Wish List. Your job will be to connect with people who are connected and can make an introduction.

7. Reach out to More People

Former coworkers, fellow alumni, people from community groups, and more. Ask for introductions, and broaden your circle.

8. Attend Conferences & One-Off Gatherings

Virtual conversations are great 1:1, but there is nothing like the energy and the possibilities that can come from in-person events.

9. Rinse & Repeat

You’ll keep repeating the steps above until you find your next opportunity.

The best part? This process will works regardless of what are searching for: a corporate job, a business to build, or a consultant or fractional leader.

You can still search for jobs and apply, but the system is rigged against applications.

50-80% of senior level roles never get posted. When companies have a need for senior talent, they tap into existing staff or a leader’s network to fill the post. This is why networking is so essential.

You need to be in the know as the role is being concepted. Not when it’s fully-formed.

Connecting with people will help you make inroads far faster and far earlier in the process than any digital application.

The road may be long, but you will get through it.

The average time to land is now 12-18 months for a senior leader. That’s the average. It could be shorter, but it could also be a lot longer.

Aim for a fast landing, but be ready for a long one.

A healthy mindset is an enormous asset during times of uncertainty. Give yourself an edge by setting the right expectations and not creating false hope.

Be patient, give yourself some love and care, and take it one step at a time. That is how to not just weather the marathon, but enjoy the scenery along the way.

The people you’ll (re)connect with, the organizations and industries you’ll get exposed to, and the self-discovery that emerges will all make you a stronger leader and better prepared for your next chapter.

So if you're wondering how to get back in the game after a layoff…
Start by remembering this:
You don’t need a plan to move forward. You just need momentum.

You’ve got this. And I’ve got your back if you want help.

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👥 Know someone who’s been laid off?
Forward this to them. It'll remind them they’re not alone.

📅 Want support?
I’ve opened 3 coaching spots for late fall. Book a 15-minute complimentary Strategy Call.

Thank you for joining me this week.

May you lead without limits,