Why Influence Beats Authority Every Time
How influential leaders quietly shape decisions, build trust, and drive outcomes — without forcing anything.
Most leaders over-rely on authority... and wonder why nothing changes. Influence is the unlock. Here’s how to build it.
“Do we really need to make this decision by Friday?”
Leo dropped the question like it was no big deal. But it shifted everything.
90 minutes into the exec team’s strategic planning meeting... no one was aligned. Joanna had been asking for more time to hit a deadline — and getting grilled like she was dropping the ball.
But when Leo said the exact same thing?
People actually paused. They nodded. The CEO even echoed it like it was a brilliant insight.
Joanna left the room with steam coming out of her ears.
This wasn’t the first time no one listened. No matter how prepared she was. No matter how clearly she made her case.
Same idea. Same tone.
Different result.
She came to me on the verge of quitting.
“What’s Leo got that I don’t?”
The answer sadly was obvious.
It wasn’t talent.
It wasn’t how he looked.
It wasn’t even what he said.
It was influence.
Influence is what everyone wants but few people prioritize developing.
The key to successful leadership is influence, not authority.
– Ken Blanchard
Influence is the ability to persuade someone without needing to exert positional power or authority.
There are people in your life that do this in what seems like an effortless manner. The friend that always seems to get their way but makes it feel like something that everyone wants. The colleague that makes it feel like it was a group decision or a foregone conclusion when in reality, they orchestrated the decision.
It seems like these people are magically getting everyone to follow their lead. What feels like a contentious decision is made simple and easeful by these people. They seemingly just propose an idea and then everyone falls into line.
At work, the impact is not just in how it feels, but how work moves forward, both good and bad.
Someone who is influential can both move something forward, but also block it. They can pivot everyone or help them stay the course. They can give an advantage to their team, or they can work to support the greater good. They can not only change the path forward, but someone who is highly influential can change the rules of the game.
Just as Leo shifted the conversation, the most influential people can not only change a decision, but change the focus of the team.
Done with thoughtfulness and strategic insight, that means you can help the team not just get to the right solution, but to the right problem.
Having influence requires earned authority, which can be more powerful than assigned authority.
Those who are skilled at influencing often have more power than than people with official authority. They might not have decision-making power, but they can sway those do. And without the burden of the actual decision-making, those with influence often have a broader impact on more people.
When someone has assigned authority, people have to listen and follow their direction. That can work much of the time, but sometimes, when people are forced to do something, they do so with a measure of resentment or underlying resistance. Even if that doesn’t manifest overtly, it can subversively distract a team, slow down momentum, and even create dissonance and confusion.
Meanwhile someone who has earned authority through influence will never be able to force anyone to do anything. But they don’t have to.
If people follow their lead, they are doing so because they believe in their rationale and trust their judgement. People have no reason to follow someone who does not have assigned authority unless they think that their ideas have merit and that they can be trusted.
That is the kind of power that can move mountains.
Anyone can become more skilled at influencing others.
There are many ways to develop influence. I have found the following to be the easiest ones to execute and fastest ones to generate real results.
1. Be excellent at your job
Deliver outcomes - When you are known as someone who delivers, you become a go-to person that other rely upon over time. Your outcomes also become indicators of your expertise and judgement.
Be a joy to work with - People spend too many hours at work to not enjoy who they work with. Those with great attitudes will be the ones that people are more likely to seek out, confide in, and collaborate with.
Communicate regularly and clearly - Never assume people understand what you’re doing. Those who are clearly sharing what they are learning, accomplishing and even missing, will inspire others to share back and build trust over time.
2. Invest in relationships
Understand what matters to the other person - There many ways to build a relationship, but one of the best ways is to focus on what matters to the other person. When you understand their motivations, you can often tailor your messages and interactions so that you are addressing their needs directly. They will feel heard and valued as a result.
Take the time to build a rapport - Connection and trust can happen quickly, but don’t count on it. It often takes a few conversations before someone starts to feel like you have a relationship. Don’t skimp on the time it takes to do this.
3. Give before you get
Support their goals - When someone feels you are in their court and will have their back, they will be more likely to do the same for you.
Provide value in each of your interactions - When in doubt about what to say, ask if someone needs help and try to support them. Perhaps you don’t know the answer, but maybe you know someone else who does. Sometimes, just listening will be more than enough. When interactions with you feel valuable, people will not shy away when you come to ask them for a favor or to collaborate with them on your priorities.
4. Be real
Authenticity first - Don’t do any of the above if you feel disingenuous. People will automatically react negatively to someone who doesn’t feel genuine. Your goal may be to become more influential, but always remember your higher objective is to help the company overall become more successful. When you keep the broader mission in mind, it’s easier to be authentic.
Navigate conflict effectively - The most influential people are the ones who are brave enough to be honest. They say the things that others are afraid to voice. They focus the team on what matters most. They don’t shy away from conflict and are skilled at navigating it without making it personal. If you are fearful of doing this, remember that courage isn’t the absence of fear, it’s doing what is needed in spite of the fear.
5. Speak up
Ask thoughtful questions - Sometimes the most powerful message is a question and not a statement. You don’t have to know the answers to help others find a better way forward. You simply have to help them gain perspective and see more clearly. Questions are a highly effective way to do this.
Be willing to redirect - Helping to refocus a conversation or pivot a strategy can be critical. Influential leaders don’t shy away from being a compass for the team.
Champion an point of view - This is perhaps the most obvious way to influence, but there are ways of doing this inspire and bring other along the journey. Being willing to seed ideas or draw out perspectives from others and help shepherd them along can be as effective or more effective than being the source of the idea yourself. Influential leaders understand this nuance and aren’t afraid to champion ideas they believe in even if it isn’t their own.
As you more consistently exhibit the above behaviors, your influence will steadily grow. People will start to come to you to work through challenges or ask your opinion as they tackle a key initiative. You may find yourself in more meetings or people will pause to ask your opinion.
The most strategically influential people will be discerning about where they choose to engage. Don’t simply let others direct where you focus. Choose what topics and initiatives deserve your attention based on your mandate and your expertise. Just like all of your other work, trying to do it all means not doing any of it well.
Who you choose to influence is as important as how you influence them.
As you are developing your influence skills, be thoughtful about who you are seeking to influence. The who is usually determined by the what. When you are still learning how to do this, start with the people most proximate to you: your boss and your team and the topics that matter to them.
When you focus on the people you know best, you’ll already have a leg up on understanding their work, their goals, and you’ll likely already have a relationship. You can further invest in those areas, and as you become more confident, you can advance to giving more, being more real and speaking up more.
As you gain traction with those you are closest to, start to expand your circle of influence to peers, other leaders, and other critical staff members in different departments and levels. This will require you to spend more time, learn more about other functions, and be strategic about your time.
Over time, you’ll not only have relationships across the organization, you’ll also have a much better understanding about how all the pieces work together.
When people ask me how I got promoted to Vice President at NBC when I was 27 or how I became a CEO at 32, much of it was due to my influence as a leader.
Staying curious, taking the time to get to know people, and having a deep understanding of how the organization and the people in it functioned gave me insight into what to prioritize and why.
There were other factors, but having both a wide lens view and a detailed operational understanding of a business is a highly valuable perspective. Marry that with a point of view and a willingness to speak up and you become influential.
Building influence never ends because organizations are always evolving.
As strategy changes, people join or leave the organization, and as departments are spun up, consolidated, or dissolved, who you need to influence, how you influence and why you influence will shift.
You can’t be in multiple places all at once. So prioritize who you are focused on. The great news is that relationships compound over time. If you are maintaining your efforts around being excellent in your job, building relationships, giving before you get, and being real, not only will the people you’ve connected to continue to trust you, your reputation will spread and strengthen over time.
People love drama and gossip. But people also love to lift up the folks who are driving the greatest value. Be one of those highly valued leaders that everyone seeks out and asks to be part of their work.
Once you experience it, the power of influence cannot be overstated.
Key Takeaways
Building influence is one of the hallmarks of great leaders. Investing the time to becoming more skilled is worth your investment and will payoff long-term. There are 5 ways you can become a better influencer:
Be excellent at your job - Your reputation will always precede you.
Invest in relationships - People support people they know and trust.
Give before you get - Reciprocity is a proven and effective model.
Be real - People trust someone who is genuine, honest, and navigates conflict well.
Speak up - You can’t influence if you don’t add your voice to the process.
As you grow your influence skills, take the time to learn how to influence different people in different departments and levels. And always prioritize well. You have many responsibilities. This is simply one of them. Choose wisely and evolve your approach over time as the organization evolves.
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This is so true - unfortunately very few "leaders" have this. They just get assigned / appointed based on years of experience, not based on social skills. Thank you for sharing!