10 Ways to Exponentially Improve Your 1:1 Meetings

The fastest way to improve your team's performance is to improve your interactions with them.

Photo by Blake Wisz on Unsplash

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Most managers I know aren’t thrilled with how their 1:1s go.

Even the ones who say they are? Honestly… I think they might be in denial.

These meetings can take up as much as a quarter of your week.

But do they give you that much value in return?

Too often, they turn into something like this:

• A laundry list of topics

• A surface-level review of progress

• A complaint or two

• Some half-hearted advice

At best, they’re a neutral use of time.
At worst, they’re giving a false sense of progress, while masking real issues and concerns.

Still... most leaders keep going through the motions.

They tell themselves things like:

“I don’t have time to teach my team how to get this right.”
“What’s the point? It won’t change anything.”
“These are just for face time — not where the real work happens.”

But that last point is where they really miss the mark.

Every interaction is a chance to shape outcomes — not just business results, but the intangibles too: trust, clarity, growth, and culture.

So don’t settle. Over the next 30 days, reshape one of your biggest time investments — your 1:1s — and make them worth it.

10 Ways to Make Your 1:1s Exponentially More Effective

1. Get Clear on the Purpose

Most leaders try to do too much in their 1:1s. So they end up accomplishing… almost nothing.

Pick one or two priorities for the meeting — max.

That helps your team prepare. It helps you focus.
And it helps both of you walk away with something that actually moves things forward.

Pro tip: status updates, wins, and numbers? Those can live in dashboards or emails.

Use your 1:1 for things that need real-time discussion:

• Gnarly challenges

• Discussing a private people issue

• Delivering and receiving constructive feedback

• Brainstorming or live workshopping an issue or opportunity

2. Set Expectations & Responsibilities

You wouldn’t wing a Board meeting. Why is a 1:1 meeting any different?

Set the expectations early, like:

• Your direct report should send an agenda a day ahead with any prep materials

• Your direct report should manage the time, record notes, and share them afterwards

• You both will come in on time and distraction-free (phones away, notifications off)

• You both commit to being clear and kind. No sugar-coating and no holding back. That will only delay and confuse

• You both commit to ending every topic with a clear decision and next action

When you are explicit about expectations, you reduce stress and anxiety for both of you and give each other more energy to direct to the priority topics.

3. Get Input and Align

After you have shared the meeting purpose and expectations, ask for input: What you might have missed or where they would recommend changes.

You don’t have to agree with their thoughts, but you should respond to each one and thank them for sharing.

This sets the stage for healthy dialogue in the future.

4. Hold Yourself and Your Direct Report Accountable

Now the hard work begins. Unless you hold yourself and your direct report accountable, all of your thoughtfulness will go out the window.

This means:

• Cancel a meeting if one of you isn’t prepared

• Pause if either of you isn’t distraction-free

• Reschedule if you’re having trouble being clear and kind

Use your time wisely and show each other the respect you both deserve.

5. Lean into the Hard Stuff

When you talk about the difficult issues, that’s when you build real trust and depth in your relationship.

For example:

• How are you working together? What isn’t going well? What is? What can each of you improve?

• How is your direct report feeling about their job and work? Use the LifeLabs CAMPS framework.

• What is keeping you each up at night? Are these issues worth prioritizing or should you let them go?

These are the kind of issues you can’t address in an email or Slack message — they are perfect for face-to-face, live conversation.

They are also the types of topics that, when you break through them, you’ll 10x the productivity of your direct report because you’ll reduce their anxiety and overthinking.

6. Zoom Out

Your best people want context.

Let them in on how things are going across the team, the company, the industry.

They’ll start thinking more strategically, and you’ll get more from them — not just in their role, but as a partner in building something bigger.

7. Ask (& Answer) Better Questions

If you’ve set up your meeting well, you’ll have the space to go deep.

Here’s how:

• Mike Goitein
  introduced me to Christina Wodtke’s Four Square model, where she recommends asking about the confidence of your direct report in hitting their targets. This invites a far more insightful conversation than a simple status update

• My mentor, Lisa Gelobter, taught me the power of asking Why 5 times. Sometimes, the issue isn’t an issue at all. Sometimes, the initial issue is just a symptom of something deeper. You won’t know until you ask 5 times

• Invite your direct report to ask you deeper questions. They’ll develop their ability to be incisive and learn from your answers.

Going deep on high-priority topics has a payoff now and in the future.

8. Talk about Performance Now: Theirs & Yours

Waiting until formal review cycles to share performance feedback is like waiting for a health disaster before you build healthy habits.

You’re wasting time, and it only makes it harder to recover after.

Instead, keep a log of feedback and jot down examples (wins and misses) as you notice them. Then, share them in your 1:1s.

Ask your direct report to do the same for you.

Neither of you will be surprised when formal reviews arrive. And you’ll be course correcting as you go.

Bonus question: “How can you better leverage each other’s strengths?”

Exploring opportunities is how you make 1 + 1 = 3.

9. Talk about Their Future Today

Don’t wait until your employee brings in a resignation letter to discuss career pathing and supporting their growth — instead, make time for it every 3 months.

It can feel scary to talk about career paths if:

• You aren’t sure about what career paths are possible at your company, or your company doesn’t have the financial ability to reward growth

• You’re worried you’ll inadvertently be encouraging your employee to seek opportunities elsewhere

• You don’t know how to guide your employee

But the reality is your top talent is already thinking about their next move. You want them thinking about it with you, not around you.

This builds trust and keeps the relationship open — whether they stay, grow, or move on.

10. Regularly Assess & Adjust

Priorities shift, talent changes, and your time and energy go through different cycles.

Every 2-3 months, do a check:

• Are my 1:1s effective and worth my time?

• Are these conversations moving the business and my team forward?

• Does the schedule match my needs (goals, energy, preferred days, frequency, duration, etc)?

Ask your direct reports for their assessment as well.

Stay flexible. Weekly isn’t always better. Monthly with async touchpoints might work better.

Adapt to the season you’re in.

Leveling up your 1:1 meetings is a win-win-win investment.

Improving your 1:1s is one of the highest ROI moves you can make as a leader.

It boosts trust. Sharpens performance. Builds culture.

So don’t let these meetings just happen.

Make them matter.

What’s one thing you’re going to do this month to improve your 1:1s?

Share them in the Comments below.

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